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Consequences
By Meesh
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Email Author: egyptian.queen@ntlworld.com Summary: Sam is compromised by an alien entity. How will Jack react. Category: Angst, Romance, Character Death. Season: Four Spoilers: Anything up to Entity is likely to be spoiled. Rating: PG a couple of adult words Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended and nothing is being made. I also ‘borrowed’ some song Lyrics: ‘The One’ by Shakira, ‘Complicated’ by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author and may not be posted anywhere without the authors consent. Author’s note: This started out as a one part story, which people demanded a sequel to. My sequel was almost impossible to write, then I had an idea and turned the whole thing into a much longer story. So I hope you have lots of spare time (and patience). __________________________
"So basically, what your saying is that if we'd just listened to you in the first place and blown it up…"
Daniel's voice trailed off and he looked at Jack. His eyes searched Jack's face for some trace of feeling, emotion. But Jack showed no emotion; his face was set into an emotionless mask. "This one is important" The entity spoke through the speech synthesiser about Carter as if she were an object. Not a real living human being. Jack tried to contain his anger. If there was any chance that Sam was still in there he didn’t want her to see him lashing out. He hated this thing that was inside her, it even made her look different. The Sam he knew was always smiling. She had a natural presence, a radiance, everything about her; the way she walked, talked, moved. It set his pulse racing and captivated everyone who met her. Her features now were set, no emotion was shown at all. It was like talking to a blank canvas, like a puppet on a string. Even her skin looked pale, she looked ill. Jack laughed inside at this last thought, she had an alien entity inside her, what was she supposed to look like. He couldn't deal with the whole Tok'ra symbiote thing, let alone some other entity that was controlling her, taking over her mind. Jack stared back into the baby blue eyes he adored, she hadn't blinked once, Jack found the continual gaze off-putting, he presumed that it was part of the plan to intimidate him. He cleared his throat. "Yes she is." He said the words as convincingly as he could, without letting slip any feelings for Sam. Then he realised he didn't give a damn what people now knew, hell he cared about Sam. If this thing was to kill her, he didn't care what people knew. But he knew Sam was strong. She would pull through. He couldn't bear the thought of jeopardising her career simply because he cared bout her more than he was permitted to. It was the last thing she would have wanted. They had said that much last night. She had returned home late, she had been in Colorado Springs at the Air Force Academy, and then off world the same day. She'd gone to M4C 862, a moon where they had set up an off world research facility, to meet up with himself and Teal'c whilst showing a new Cadet the Stargate programme. It had been pretty scary for all concerned. Jack had risked his own life to save the rest of the team and the scientists. After debriefing Jack had showered and dropped by Sam’s lab, only to find she had left early. He figured she would have gone home with Janet, as Sam’s car was out of action. But Janet was held up with SG-11 who had managed to nearly get themselves killed on another mission. So he had driven back to her place, all the lights were out but he had persisted with knocking on her door until, wrapped in a dressing gown, clutching a handful of tissues she had answered. “Hi, Sir, I umm didn’t expect any company tonight.” Jack looked at her tear stained face and stepped into the doorway. No words had needed to be spoken; he had wrapped his arms round her and hugged her. She had dissolved into tears, crying into his shoulders. Jack guided her inside the house, pushing the front door closed. He walked through to her living room with her and sat her down on the sofa. He turned a few small lamps on. "Shall I light a fire its pretty cold in here." Jack crouched on the floor in front of her, clasping her hands tightly in his. Sam shivered and realised it was freezing. She nodded and gently withdrew her hands from his grasp. Jack knelt on the floor in front of the fireplace, pushing coals from the coal bucket into the fireplace. He pushed some firelighters in under the coals and lit them with a match. Sam watched him from the sofa. She smiled. He was a wonderful man, but this hurt so much. He was the one person who seemed to know exactly how she was feeling all of the time. She watched as a fire slowly began to take hold in the depths of the coals. Jack sat back and rubbed his hands. He turned round to grin at her. "I'm not completely without my uses Sam!" She smiled. He always called her Sam off-base. She still couldn't get out of the habit of calling him Sir. It was almost as though by calling him Sir she could keep the emotions she felt towards him in check. If she started calling him Jack she was sure she would open the emotional floodgates and all her hidden feelings would come flooding into the light. Jack pulled himself up off the floor, he shrugged his leather jacket off, tossing it on one of the arm chairs, and moved to sit beside her. She moved away from him slightly, to give him enough room to sit down. He gently placed a hand on hers. Sam tried not to look at him, knowing she was close to tears again. He placed a hand under her chin and gently titled her head towards him. "Want to talk about it?" He gave her a weak smile. At this close proximity he could see the dark circles under her eyes. Normally the dazzling blue eyes took his breath away. Today there was no sparkle, her eyes were encompassed by a ring of red, swollen skin. She gently bit her lower lip, and let out a sigh. Raising a hand she gently took his hand off her chin and gripped it tightly. "I don't know Sir, it's just been one of those weeks I think." Jack watched her as she broke his gaze and looked down at his hands clasped within hers. She sat staring at them, they were so masculine, so strong. She wanted him to hold her, while on the other hand she didn’t want to appear weak in front of him. "Let me just get a drink, Sir, I think I might need it. Can I get you anything?" Jack looked at her as she began to get up. "Well you could stop calling me Sir for a start, and a beer would be good thanks Sam." She nodded and made her way to the kitchen, pulling her dressing gown tightly round her. The kitchen was icy cold like the rest of the house. Jack followed her, not wanting to leave her alone. She pulled two beers from the fridge and passed him one. Wordlessly they walked back through to the other room. The fire had started to take hold in the fireplace now. Sam sank back into the sofa and Jack sat beside her. He sat swigging his beer for a few moments before turning to look at her curled into the corner of the sofa. Sitting next to her he realised, how close he was to her. He shook the thought out of his mind, this was his second in command and she was upset. Now was not the time to be thinking about, well that. "Come on Sam what's going on?" He looked at her, this wasn’t the Sam he knew and loved. "Permission to speak freely?" "We're off-base, I'll treat anything you tell me in the strictest confidence, and I'm saying that as your friend Sam, not your Commanding Officer." A tear formed in her eye as he said the words and she nodded. "Thank you." She whispered, pausing for what seemed to be an eternity to Jack. "I'm so tired, this year has been really tough. I love my job don't get me wrong. But we seem to be on the wrong side of the universe every time. I love meeting new cultures, exploring new planets. But how many times have we nearly not made it Jack? I mean lets look at the past 12 months, we nearly got blown apart on Thor's ship, and even when we escaped we couldn't get home. Stuck on that awful planet." Sam shivered as she recalled the memory. "You risked your own life in a futile attempt to save me when we were trapped on that ship. When Anise thought we were Zatarc's, you were willing to risk dying to save me, again. I can't keep letting you put your life on the line for the sake of me Jack.” Sam paused. She took a mouthful of beer and looked at him thoughtfully, as if unsure whether to carry on. She took a deep breath before continuing, choosing to stare into the fire as she continued. “When the X-301 went into outer space? And we managed to ring you aboard, you were suffering anoxia, oxygen deprivation, you might not remember what you said but I do. I was thinking about those words today. Wondering if you were risking your life without having resolved, it." Jack took a swig of his beer and set it back down on the table. He shifted his position so he was sitting close to Sam, he gently placed an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to him. He took a deep breath and took her hands into his free one. "Sam, I know full well what I said. I remember telling you I loved you, that you were my guardian angel, and that I hadn’t been ready to die because if I should die it will be to save you. I know I haven’t acted as though I love you, in fact most of the time I’m a pain in the ass but it doesn’t mean that I lied, I meant every word. I still do. But the bottom line of it is. I am your Commanding Officer, no matter how I feel about you, whether you feel the same way or not. I will not let you risk your career for me." She nodded, knowing he was trying to put a lid on the whole issue. So she let it rest. They had sat on her sofa for hours, talking and consuming more beer, before she finally fell asleep in his arms. He sat, holding her close to him watching as the embers in the fire died down. When the room grew cold he gently carried her to her bedroom. He gently lay her on the bed, he slipped her dressing gown off, thankful she was wearing pyjamas that didn’t accentuate her figure too much. He gently pulled her duvet over her and kissed her forehead. She had woken, drowsy with sleep she had asked him to stay. But he hadn't. He'd left her, alone. He feared it was just her exhaustion and frustration asking him to stay. He regretted it now. He had wanted to stay. Damn why hadn't he stayed? He watched as the entity stared back at him, impassive. He knew he lost it, as soon as the entity revealed why it had chosen Carter. He lost it, he threatened it, he threatened to poison the rest of the planet. He wanted to get it out of her, he wanted her back. "Leave her now." He watched as the hand of his love trembled above the keyboard, was that Sam or the entity who was scared? Had he struck fear into the heart of the one woman he wanted so badly? Or was it a ploy buy the entity to deceive him. Suddenly, she sprung from the bed, and ran through the hallways. The words the entity had spoken moments before ran through his head has he held the zat gun, pointing directly at the body of Sam. "For this reason this one was chosen, you will not terminate this one to destroy me." An arc of blue light rippled through her body from his shot, normally it would have crippled the Major. But her body remained upright, her eyes fixed on him, with a look of determination. Himself, General Hammond and Janet watched as the entity attempted to return to the SGC's mainframe. Jack stared straight into the eyes he loved, they stared back, there was no hint of fear, no recollection of who he was. The zat had not had any effect, the entity persisted in trying to escape, or destroy the base. Whatever it was doing, it had to be stopped. There was no sign that Carter was still in her body. Images flashed through Jack's mind as his finger tightened on the trigger. The first time he saw her. She had been in full Air Force uniform. He remembered the short skirt. She had walked into the room filled with confidence, she looked stunning, and took his breath away. Her attitude had been different back then. She had to fight to get onto the Stargate programme, Jack laughed inside. He was sure she put up a pretty convincing argument. He had loved her instantly, but it was that Air Force uniform that had prevented them ever getting together. Of course they had spoken many times about what could have been. He would have done anything to have her, he knew the Air Force would never allow two officers to have relations, especially those who were at the frontline of defending the planet. Which was why he had been planning his resignation, he had retired once before, and enjoyed the experience. He had figured that retiring to be with Sam was the fuel to his fire. They'd had moments, where despite the situations they had been in, they had almost given in to their feelings. Thinking back to one of their earliest missions Jack still chuckled when he remembered his Second in Command wearing a tiny little tank top and forcing herself upon him in the locker room. And that hadn't been the only time when he had almost let his hot blooded male routine take control. When they had been trapped on Hathor's planet, there had been so many times that, despite the impending danger, all he had been able to think about was how close he was to Sam. Her body, her smell. He loved everything about her. That’s right Sam I love you. He stared into her eyes. Hoping that for once she could hear him. "I love you" he whispered it so quietly that he barely heard it himself, before he squeezed the trigger. The blue energy stream hit her fragile body once more, this time causing her body to buckle in pain, the energy released by the entity ceased abruptly. He watched her eyes scream out in pain as her body fell to the floor. He longed to reach out and catch her, to hold her, but he couldn't move. He had just shot the woman he loved twice, effectively killing her. All his muscles in his body went stiff, he felt physically sick. He knew now what she had felt like shooting Martouf. She had insisted it was all unrequited between her and Martouf though. That the feelings she felt for Martouf were those of a brother. But Jack had always felt like he had to compete, he had always been jealous of the bond the two shared since Sam had been host to Jolinar. That was another thing Jack regretted. The day he questioned the Tok'ra, when it had seemingly let Sam speak. She had been calling out for him, begging him to listen to it telling the truth. If he had listened they might not have come so close to losing Carter as they did. After the incident, when she had lain in the hospital bed. Weakened from her brush with death she wouldn't talk, to anyone. Janet said it was because the symbiote had given its life for her. Jack knew, it had been because he didn’t listen. She had been scared, terrified, and he had nearly killed her by not listening. Well this time he really had killed her. Janet and a team of medics moved forwards to move her body. Jack remembered hearing Janet calling for an emergency crash cart. The blood was rushing in jack’s ears, he felt physically and mentally sick. He was disgusted with himself. He had caused this, he had threatened the entity and then had to shoot her. Jack turned away. He couldn't stand here and watch as they took her to the infirmary. He watched as the medics shifting her limp, lifeless form onto a trolley and rushing her to the infirmary. He wondered why they were running, she was dead. He had killed her. Why were they trying to revive her. She was gone. Jack made a run for the shower room. He felt sick with grief. He was grateful to find the area deserted. He sat on one of the benches staring at the floor, stubbing the toe of his boot into the tile spaces. He realised he was still sat holding the zat gun, he looked at it for a moment. Such a small piece of metal, yet it had destroyed the biggest part of his heart. He found tears welling in his eyes as he stared at the dull silver of the gun. A thought entered his mind, her last vision, would be him killing her. If she had been able to see. Jack pondered this thought. Even if she hadn't been able to see him at any point since the entity took her, his last words to her had been those of an Air Force officer, not the ones he wanted her to hear. Jack stood up and punched a fist into the locker opposite him. He grimaced in pain. He threw a hefty kick in at the locker before turning towards the door. He couldn’t sit here taking his anger out on the locker all day. He knew he had to go face his friends. Janet, she'd be upset. She and Sam were best friends. He had grown closer to Janet this year, his team had been through so much, it was taking its toll on some of them. Sam more noticeably than others. She had helped both of them deal with their hidden feelings that kept threatening to surface. He wasn't sure how Daniel and Teal'c would react to him. He had essentially killed their friend, not just their team member. They were more like a family than a team these days. He picked up the zat, and finally closed it, he shook his head, disgusted with himself, and made his way slowly to the infirmary. "I don't know if she ever told you this Colonel, but she made a living will, no extraordinary means." Janet's words came out as a whisper. She was letting her doctor side take over the impossible situation in front of her. She knew that her friend was essentially dead, that her last wish would have been to die with dignity. But how could you physically pull the plug on your best friend, to terminate the one thing that you held so dear. As futile and superficial as it may seem. Janet wondered if she could, just because she was a doctor who had dealt with more than her fair share of death, did not make it any easier. Especially when it was someone she cared about so dearly. Jack sat next to her bed, a mass of wires connected her to the equipment around her. She looked like she was sleeping. He watched her chest slowly rising and falling. It was eerily steady, her breathing in complete unison with the ventilator. He knew there was nothing inside of her. He knew he was looking at a shell. He held her hand, it was frustrating, feeling the warmth of her body, but knowing that it was all a hoax created by a machine. She had died when he shot her. Why they had bothered hooking her up to the life support he would never know. Maybe it was to make it easier on him. This way he didn't actually fire the shot, it would be down to Janet. Her best friend would more than likely pull the plug on Sam's life. But this wasn't life. This was the whole reason she had made the living will. "Yeah she told me." Jack thought back to the day when she had told him. They had been at her house, watching a movie and eating pizza. She had been drinking, not much but enough to make her talk openly for a change. Sure she was a better speaker than he was, but she had always been shy in his presence. She had suddenly come over all serious, they had both agreed that they would never leave each other behind. And she had told him about her living will. He had been shocked at first, then he realised, she would rather die who she was than live as someone she wasn't. Not able to control herself in anyway. "There's no brain activity of any kind." Jacks stomach lurched. He knew this, he knew she was going to die. But it didn't make it any easier. He gripped her hand tighter, wishing she would squeeze it back. It was hopeless but a part of him couldn't let her die. He wanted more than anything in the world, to see her smile. The smile that lit up her eyes. Hear her sweet laugh, hold her close once more and tell her how much he loved her. "I think we should let her go." Jack nodded, and leaned across her bed. He kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Sam I love you, forever and always." He whispered the words so softly as his lips brushed against her cheek. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could smell her; the moisturiser she used, the perfume she wore, the washing powder she used on her clothes. A tear fell from his eye and dampened her cheek. "Goodbye my angel." He gently released her hand from his grip and lay it by her side. He smoothed a stray lock of hair, and ran a hand across her cheek, wiping away his tear. He stepped back from the bed, letting Daniel and Teal'c say goodbye privately. They walked away when they had said all they wanted to say, watching as Jack straightened the covers, tidied her hair before stepping back. He wanted to hold her, he wanted her to wake in his arms. Janet moved forward, kissed her best friend on the forehead. She slowly removed the ventilator tube, carefully as though it would hurt Sam if she rushed. She wiped Sam's mouth, and watched as slowly her vital signs dropped. The monitor let out its warning tone. Janet blinked back the tears and pronounced Samantha Carter's time of death. Jacks grief overwhelmed him, he ran his hand across her cheek. His hand traced the outline of her lips, they were so soft, he had remembered wanting for so long to kiss her, to hold her, to be what she wanted him to be. As Daniel and Teal'c left, Janet looked into Jacks eyes. They were both devastated, both knowing, both believing, their own actions had caused the death of their one true love. It had been two weeks. Two weeks had passed, so much had happened. Jack was sitting in the commissary, he stared at the lemon chicken on his plate. It was one of her favourites. But she wasn't here to share it with him. He remembered a time when they would have sat here, eating together. She would have had the smallest possible portion of lemon chicken she could get away with. Gate travel had its downsides, and for Sam it had always been the inability to eat, both prior to and after missions. Somehow despite the nausea, a tall glass filled with blue Jell-O cubes was never a problem, no matter when she had last been through the gate. But she wasn’t here. Instead Jack was faced with staring at an airman whose name he wasn’t even sure of, Jack figured that’s why they had their names sewn onto their jackets. Jacks thoughts wandered. It wasn’t as if Sam wasn’t around. He knew he could have been sat here mourning her death. But it had never come to that. Three days after he thought he had killed her. Somehow her consciousness had been preserved in the MALP room. Much like the entity had survived before. Jack was ever thankful that Sgt. Siler hadn’t got round to clearing the MALP room in those three days. Janet had come to Sam’s aid in her hour of need. Within a few hours Sam was “herself” again. The General had told her to take as much leave as she wanted, or needed. Jack had thought it was a good idea, until she had refused to see him. She wouldn't answer his calls, he got no answer at her house. He had questioned Janet about it, the Doctor and the Major were firm friends and Jack knew that Janet would not have allowed herself to be shut out of Sam’s life. He had been right. “Jack, she just needs some space right now.” “Doc, she’s my friend as much as she is yours, why won’t she take my calls?” “She’s been through a massive ordeal Jack, you have to remember that.” “I know, but how am I supposed to help her?” “You can’t Jack, she needs to get over this herself. She doesn’t need you as a reminder.” “Janet what does that mean?” Janet had become flustered, realising she had said much more than she was supposed to. “I’m sorry Jack. Just give her time. I’m going to see her after work tonight, I’ll tell her you asked about her though.” Jack sighed, knowing he was going to get no more from Janet. He had decided to get something to eat before going home. So here he was, sat in the commissary, not eating his lemon chicken, wondering how she was and whether she was coping. He looked at his watch; it was just gone six in the evening. Jack threw his fork down. He'd had enough, he wasn't going to sit here and do nothing, he was going to see Sam. Eveb if he had to break into her house to do it he was going to make sure she was ok. He stopped the car and looked at the house, he could see a faint light from her main window. He switched his engine off and got out. He walked slowly up to the house. Standing staring at her front door he took a deep breath, he reached to knock, but before his knuckles met the door the door swung open slightly and Sam looked out on him. Her eyes widened when she saw him standing on the doorstep. “Oh, Sir, I was expecting Janet," Jack looked at the face that was staring back at him, her face was pale, her eyes were a mixture of dark red swollen skin and dark circles ringing her eyes. Her hair was a mess and she looked thin, thinner than usual. "Are you gonna let me in or do I have to stand out here all night?" "If you don't mind, Sir, I really don't feel up to it." Sam went to push the door shut but he was too quick, he pushed his boot into the doorway and looked her square in the eye. "Sam you can slam this door in my face, but believe me I'm not planning on going away that easily. I'm here to talk, and that's what we're going to do, even if I have to break this door down to see you." Sam sighed and let go of the door, she turned and walked away. Leaving Jack standing in the doorway. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind him he fumbled for the light switch. Not succeeding in locating it he decided to follow Sam through to the living room, he kicked his boots off onto the floor before blindly making his way down her hall. He pushed the door open, and found her sitting curled on the sofa in front of a fire she had lit in the fireplace. He took his coat off and placed it on the armchair before moving to sit beside her. “So. I expect you’re here to lecture me. Janet said that you guys are like the lost boys without me.” “We are.” “I’m not coming back Jack, not yet, maybe not ever.” Jack turned to look at her she had. He studied her, she was curled deep into the corner of the sofa, as if afraid of him. She hugged her knees to her chest like a small child, she rested her chin on her knees. Her eyes stared at the fire burning steadily in front of them. She noticed his gaze and flicked her eyes upward in his direction. He couldn’t help but notice how vulnerable yet appealing she looked. “Why not?” “Jack, can you honestly tell me you don’t know the answer to that?” Jack swallowed, it wasn’t like Sam to act so defensive, something was eating her and he knew it wasn’t as easy as blaming this on the entity incident. “Well, Sam, I think it’s because of the entity. Well, I think that’s what you want me to believe, so that’s what you’re going to tell me. Hope that your dumb old Commanding Officer will accept your excuse and leave you alone.” His eyes flashed with anger. “But for Christ’s sake what do you take me for Sam? You had a Tok’ra symbiote die in your brain, you’ve had her memories haunting you for years ever since. You can’t sit here and tell me that because an alien entity entered your body, that you are going to quit the SGC. I won’t accept it, I won’t believe it.” “Then that’s tough isn’t it? Because that’s all it is. Stop trying to make out you know me better than I do, because quite frankly you have no idea how I’m feeling right now, do you, Sir?” Sam bit down hard on her bottom lip to prevent herself swearing her head off at him. “Why not enlighten me then?” Jack managed to control his temper long enough to ask the question. Sam’s defensiveness around him was irritating him. She had always been calm and open when they had been together off the base. Even after everything that had happened with Jolinar and the mission to Netu, she had never once taken her grief out on him. Sam looked at him, a lock of hair falling across her eye, but she remained still. Staring at him through her glassy blue eyes. “I saw you stretch out your hand and shoot me, not once but twice. I saw you holding out your hand, ready to kill me. How the hell do you think I feel? How the fuck can you expect me to come back to work when all I see when I think of you is that?” Jack felt anger burning inside of him. “Sam, don’t start making me feel guilty for this. What the hell do you think I have been feeling?” His eyes flashed dangerously. “I had to stand there and shoot you, the one thing I love most in this whole damn universe, and I had to stand there and destroy it. I spent the three days between killing you and finding out you were still around not eating, I was sick every time I came onto the base. I felt like a fucking murderer Sam. So don’t make me,” Jack lost the ability to finish the sentence, he got up and moved away. He walked to the window, he leaned on the window ledge, staring out at the nights sky. Sam slowly got up, tears streaming down her face. She was in shock. She stood behind him, gently placing a hand on the middle of his back. “Jack?” He turned to look at her, wrapping a free arm round her waist. His eyes were brimmed with tears. Sam had never seen Jack cry. “Oh God. I’m sorry.” Sam raised a hand and wiped a tear from his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry Jack I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he silenced her raising a finger to her lips. He shook his head sadly, it was too late for apologies. "Sam, you will return to the SGC. Will you promise me that much?" She looked into his eyes and nodded, "Yes," she whispered. "Good. It's late; I'm going to go. Good night." He kissed her on the cheek, letting his lips linger on her skin longer than he needed to. He finally broke away and gathered his coat. Sam stood in the window, watching him get into his car, driving away. Her bottom lip trembled as she felt tears enveloping her. God what had she done to him. She'd really hurt him this time. How could she have been so stupid. God of course she knew he'd have been feeling bad. After all, he had been forced to shoot a member of his team, a friend. Jack had been owed some leave. As soon as General Hammond had informed him that Carter had requested to return to active service as soon as possible, he took it. Jack left the base, presuming that in a weeks time Carter would lead SG1 on her first command. He had a feeling it wouldn't be her last command either, not if he could help it. But for now SG1 had a weeks downtime, he had two weeks leave. So Carter would lead SG1 for a week. The General had agreed to let Carter command the team for the week, as a sort of trial. George knew much more than Jack thought. He knew full well that Jack was contemplating retiring again. And if SG1 were to continue without Jack, they had to have someone who could lead them as well as he had. Jack seemed to think that the Majors leadership would be a positive influence on the team. Who was he to argue with the man who had been her Commanding Officer for nearly 3 years? Within an hour of leaving the base his car was loaded. He'd had a bag packed and found his fishing kit the night before. Jack grabbed his cap from inside the house, locking the door behind him. He turned away from the house and was surprised to see Sam leaning on his car. "What the hell?" He muttered under his breath, slipping the cap over his lightly greying hair. "Jack, what was the point in convincing me to come back and then just run off? General Hammond told me I’m commanding SG1 next week?" "I'm not going forever Carter, its this thing called taking some leave, I know you didn’t really familiarise yourself with it!" "I'm not here to talk about me Jack, I want to know why you decided all of a sudden to take leave?" "Not all of a sudden, I have been owed this for months." Sam pulled a face, Jack opened his car door and slipped inside. Sam bit her lip, damn him she was going to have this out with him. She grabbed the passenger side door and jumped in. "You are not leaving until we talk." Jack turned the key in the ignition. Sam folded her arms in her lap and stared at the dashboard. He sighed, she wasn't going anywhere and he knew it. "Well I don't know what you think you're doing sat in my car Carter, but, I am going to Minnesota." Jacks' last statement was very matter-of-fact. With that he pushed the car into gear and pulled out into the road. He looked at Sam from the corner of his eye. He bit his lip. She wasn't going to give in, perhaps by the time they reached Minnesota she would think twice about playing games with him. "Jack?" Sam blinked, rubbing her eyes and brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her face was filled with confusion, suddenly realisation dawned and she sat up. "Where the hell are we?" "Minnesota." "Damn you Jack." He sighed, "We're here now, it’s late. You might as well come inside." Sam nodded defeatedly. She followed Jack into the cabin. The cabin was just as she had imagined it. The living area was large and spacious. Jack had a large comfy sofa with lots of cushions scattered across it. There was a large stone fireplace, above the fireplace on the mantelpiece were family photographs. Sam sighed, she kicked her shoes off and walked barefoot across the wooden floor. She flopped down onto the sofa, pulling a cushion into her lap. She rolled onto her side, curling into a ball on the sofa. She heard Jack bringing his stuff into the cabin. She'd just close her eyes for a few minutes. Her skin was perfect, pearly white and soft to the touch. It was one of the things he loved about her. The feel of her skin was so soft beneath his fingers. Her silky soft blonde hair gently falling across her face, he loved her hair. The smell of her herbal shampoo and the feel of her hair between his fingers. She had let it grow slightly longer than her usual cropped Air Force style, he loved it like this. He watched as she shifted slightly in her sleep. He smiled. Leaning back in the armchair by the fire he watched her sleep. Her chest rose and fell, she sighed in her sleep, her arms were wrapped round a cushion protectively. She pulled the cushion closer to her chest as she slept. He studied her hands for a moment. He had never noticed how very feminine they were. From experience Air Force officers’ had rough hands, especially those involved in combat. But Sam was perfect. This could be a perfect evening. Jack got up and pulled a soft knitted quilt out from a dresser at the edge of the room. He unfolded it and gently wrapped it over Sam's shoulders. He sat on the edge of the sofa, his hand lingering on her shoulder. Sam stirred, before waking. "What time is it?" she mumbled, her throat dry. "A little after seven." Slowly she at up. Jacks hand moved from her shoulder to rest on her leg. He watched as she slowly blinked her eyes. "Jack, we need to talk." Jack nodded. He got up. "Back in a sec ok?" He crossed the room and into the kitchen. He found two glasses and filled one with water, the other with juice from the fridge. He wasn't sure how long the juice had been in the fridge but decided to risk it. He sat on the edge of the sofa again, handing Sam the glass of water. She accepted it gratefully and sipped it. "Jack, about what's happened recently," "I knew you were going to say that. But can't we just enjoy tonight and talk in the morning?" Sam shook her head. "Look I just want you to know that I don't want you to give up the Stargate programme for me. Everything that we said, that night, before." Her voice trailed off as she recounted the painful experience of having an alien entity invade her body. "Before it came. When we talked, I really appreciated you just being there. I don’t really open up to people but I do trust you Jack. I know I've acted like a complete idiot over what happened on base. But I was just scared, I care about you so much more than I thought. I tried to make you hate me, tried to hate you myself, but I can't." Jack put his glass down and leaned towards Sam, gently taking her hands in his. "I'm not giving up the Stargate programme for you. Not entirely. I don't even know if I am going to retire. But I do know that I nearly lost the most important person in my life right now, it would have killed me to watch you die Sam. If I gave up the Stargate programme it wouldn't be for you, it would be for US." Jack stressed the last word so clearly Sam felt tears welling in her eyes. She turned to face Jack. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. Her face reminded him of not so long ago, when he had mouthed 'I love you' across a Goa'uld force shield. She was so in love, yet filled with an indescribable fear. Jack did the only one thing he thought he could do. He reached out, wrapped his arms around her and held her. Her breath was warm on the base of his neck. He ran his fingers through her hair. Gently tickling the base of her neck. His mind began to cloud over. This could go so dangerously wrong. Sam was the one thing he wanted most, but also the one person whose life and career he did not want to destroy in any way. But he couldn't help wanting to spend just one night enjoying the one thing he wanted so badly. He pulled away, gently easing his fingers from her hair, running them over her slender cheeks. “Hungry?” Sam nodded, realising for the first time she hadn’t eaten since early that morning. Jack untangled his arms from her grasp and led her through to the kitchen. Like the living room it was decorated with little mementoes of Jack’s life. Above the window were several fishing trophies he had won as a child. A photo of his late son Charlie sat on the windowsill. Sam smiled, there were more parts of Jack’s life contained in this little cabin than Sam had ever seen. After searching through the cupboards they discovered that there was no real food to speak of, Jack sighed, knowing he would have to visit the store in the morning. He hated food shopping. Jack turned to look at Sam. "How about we go down to the village and eat tonight?" Sam laughed. "Sure, I don't think I'm ready to experience your cooking yet anyway!" "Hey!" "Sorry, but you deserved it, bringing me to this stupid cabin." "I never asked you to get into my car!" Sam blushed, "I just had to make sure, that you weren't," she blushed, realising how his decision could affect both of their futures. Jack nodded, "I know but still Sam, there are better ways than chaining yourself to the inside of my Jeep." "I'll just go freshen up." Sam muttered, making a move towards the bathroom. Jack drove them to the closest village. It was settled in the forest, beneath a snow-capped mountain. A stream bubbled nearby, but Sam couldn't see it in the near darkness. Jack walked her to a small pub. It was decorated simply, wooden beams stretching across the front of the building. The inside was decorated with a true country feel to it. The room scattered with tiny oil lamps, each gently casting an orange glow over the room. A tall, slightly balding man came to greet them. "Jack, what a nice surprise, how long's it been?" "Too long Don." "I remember last time you came down to see me from that blasted cabin was when you and Sara came up after you know, that stuff with Charlie." "Yeah...." Jack shifted uncomfortably, looking down at his feet. "Table for two?" Don changed the subject quickly, sensing Jack's discomfort. Jack nodded, slipping a hand round Sam's waist. Don led them to a small booth in the corner of the restaurant. Sam slipped onto her seat, Jack shuffled in opposite her. The table was adorned simply, with a candle in a glass jar at the centre. Sam pushed it aside carefully, she didn’t want Jack getting the wrong idea from this dinner. Sam studied the menu, deciding upon a burger and fries, plus a salad. "Salad?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" Sam laughed. A silence rose between the two, Sam sipped her diet coke and stared wistfully out of the window. The darkness was drawing in. She was glad they had driven down not walked as Jack had originally suggested. She didn’t fancy walking along the dark road in the dead of night, surrounded by forest. She suddenly felt like she was being watched. She turned her gaze back from the window and found Jack’s eyes set upon her. She grinned, Jack looked down at the beer in his hand. “Sorry.” Jack mumbled. “It’s ok,” Jack looked up, and saw that Sam didn’t seem to be embarrassed or mind that he had just been staring at her. She grinned back at him, with the smile that made him go weak at the knees. “I’m just gonna put some music on.” Jack rose and went towards the jukebox at the other end of the room. After what seemed like an age to Sam he returned to the booth, grinning triumphantly. The Latino beat of a song slowly filtered through the air. “You’re the one I need, my real life has just begun, cause there’s nothing like, your smile made of sun. In a world full of strangers, you’re the one I know.” Jack leaned forward and placed his hand over Sam’s hand resting on the table. He gave it a gentle squeeze. She knew he’d chosen this song for her. She was suddenly lost for words. She had been engaged before, thought she had loved the guy. He had bought her anything she wanted. But suddenly the simplest gesture from Jack had made her wonder if she had ever really loved any of her previous partners. Luckily Sam was saved from having to approach the subject by the arrival of their meals. Sam took a tentative bite of her burger, "You used to come here with Sara?" Jack nodded, "We used to bring Charlie fishing. After he died, she never liked coming. I still feel like he's here sometimes. When I'm up on the lake." Sam smiled, she almost wished she hadn't asked. Charlie was the one thing they had never talked about before. Sometimes Sam wasn't sure why they had never talked about it. She had never had trouble confiding in Jack before. Though, she figured it had been partly to do with the fact that he had felt guilty for his son's death. It had been Jack's gun that fired the shot, even if he had not pulled the trigger. Sam wondered whether to change the subject or let Jack carry on. "I'm honoured Jack." "Why?" He looked up from his steak to look into her eyes. "You've brought me to a place, that means so much to you. You lived a part of your life here, with Charlie. Not many people appreciate it, but I do. I can see you cared for him. And I'm really honoured that you want to share it with me." Jack took a swig of his beer. "It's not like I had a choice," "Will you quit reminding me!" Sam laughed, nearly spitting her diet coke over Jack. Jack smiled, he pushed the memories of Charlie from his mind. He wanted to focus on the future for now. Not his past, he wanted to share stuff like that with her, more now than ever. But not now. He wanted the evening to be perfect. When the dessert menu was brought to them Sam's eyes grew wide at the selection of desserts on offer. Jack grinned, pointing out a large 'dare-to-share' ice cream. Sam shook her head. "No way am I eating half of that!" "Who said anything about half missy!?" Jack teased. Sam pouted. "Oh yeah?" "Come on Sam, there is no way you'd ever eat half of that!" Sam raised an eyebrow. This meant war. She called the waitress over and ordered the biggest chocolate and cream filled dessert on the menu. "With two spoons." She added as the waitress walked away. Jack sat back watching Sam as he finished another glass of beer. “What?” She asked innocently. “Just thinking.” “About?” Jack sighed. “It doesn’t matter, but, I don’t want to carry on like this.” “Like what?” “Pretending.” Sam looked puzzled. “Come on Sam, you and I both know that we can’t have relations while we are both in the Military, if the Goa’uld attack tomorrow I want to have no regrets. Remember that?” Sam nodded, she remembered the time they had been stuck in Antarctica. Convinced they were going to die. Both had regretted not being able to have relations. “Let’s just eat dinner and talk later ok?” She had wanted to talk earlier, but now she was enjoying the moment. And her mind was only thinking about one thing, the dessert. The waitress arrived back at their table moments later, with a large glass bowl, brimming with ice cream. Sam grabbed a silver spoon and began slowly destroying her side of the dessert. She had taken two large spoonfuls before Jack had even lifted his spoon. “Sam, that’s not fair!” Sam grinned, her eyes sparkling with a devilish delight. Eating dessert took them much longer than anticipated. Jack was distinctly beginning to regret sharing the dessert with Sam as she flicked a blob of chocolate mousse in his direction. “Samantha!” “Don’t call me that.” “Samantha you just flicked chocolate mousse over me, I’ll call you whatever I like!” Sam raised her spoon threateningly, a gleam in her eye. “Ok Sam. I apologise.” Jack held up his hands in mock surrender. “Good, now shut up and eat.” Sam leaned back into the cool leather chair of Jack’s jeep. She was tired, the dinner had filled her up and she felt a warm sleepy feeling slowly seeping through her body. Once back at the cabin they settled down on the sofa, a comfortable silence rose between them. Sam took a sip of the white wine Jack had poured for her. They were sitting close together, Jack had an arm draped over Sam’s shoulders. Sam felt a wave of fear pass through her body, this was wrong in so many ways. “Jack, I’m tired, I think I’ll get some rest.” Jack nodded and helped Sam up from the sofa. A blush rose to her cheeks. “Umm Jack.” “What?” “I haven’t got any of my things with me, I didn’t think you’d actually drive me all the way up here!” Jack laughed. “You can borrow a shirt if you like, might be a bit big but I’m sure you’ll look sexy in it all the same!” Sam’s eyes widened. “Sorry Sam, lighten up a bit hey?" Sam shook her head laughing. “Did you mean it?” “Yeah course, you always look sexy Sam!” “I didn’t mean THAT!” Sam blushed “I meant did you mean it, about no regrets?” Jack nodded earnestly. Sam looked into his eyes, taking a deep breath. She walked towards him and wrapped her arms round him, hugging him. He thought it was simply a good night hug. She brought her lips close to his ear before whispering, “Then lets make sure we don’t have any” Sam gently kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger on his face. She ran a finger over his face seductively, before moving out of the room into his bedroom. She rooted around in his holdal looking for a shirt to wear to bed. She found a blue cotton shirt, she suspected it was one of his fishing shirts judging by the size. It was far too big to be one of his smart shirts. She decided that it would be perfect for bed. She pushed the bedroom door shut and pulled off her blouse and jeans. Buttoning the shirt around herself she realised she needed some shorts. She returned to Jack’s bag and pushed her hand deep into the bottom of the bag, searching for a pair of shorts or boxers. Her hands clasped round a small scrap of paper and some smaller items of clothing. She pulled her hands free of the bag and dumped the spoils in her lap. A pair of socks, a pair of blue boxers and a small scrap of paper. She pulled the boxers on and threw the socks back into the bag before looking at the now discarded paper on the floor. She picked it up and was about to push it back into his bag when she noticed it had her name written on it. Confused she stared at it. The paper was worn, creased in many places and slightly tatty. She ran her fingers over the paper, chewing her bottom lip. A wave of guilt swept over her, this was a private note, she shouldn’t be reading it. It may have been addressed to her, but she didn't know when he had intended to give this to her. She pushed it back into his bag, burying it beneath his clothes. Jumping up from the bed, she began to make her way down the hallway to the spare room. “Where ya goin’?” Sam spun round, Jack stared back at her. “Jack, I,” Sam was lost for words, she wanted to hold Jack. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna jump you. But it’s warmer in here anyway.” Sam smiled and let Jack guide her back to the bedroom. He lit a new fire in the bedroom fireplace. Sam pulled the covers over her body and lay on her side, staring at the fire. She listened to Jack changing behind her. He rummaged in his bag looking for something to wear. She heard him pulling out the note. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, he looked at the note in his hands, before placing it carefully and deliberately under a vase on the shelf by the bed. Sam looked away, hoping he wouldn't see the direction of her gaze. A few moments later she felt him climbing into the bed. He pulled the covers over himself and gently wrapped an arm around her side. Sam sighed, curling into this arms. It felt so right. She didn’t care about rules and regulations any more. Sam gently rolled over so that she was facing Jack. The soft light of the fire illuminated his face slightly. She traced a finger along his chin and over his soft lips. Gently he pulled her towards him. Her face was completely in shadow with her back to the fire. Pulling her face near he tenderly kissed her. Sam gasped at the sensations flowing through her body. She stared back into Jack’s deep chocolate eyes. “Can we forget that ‘I won’t jump you’ statement please?” Sam whispered, moving her lips across his own, teasing him. Jack murmured, pulling Sam into another passionate kiss. “You sure?” Sam felt an ounce of doubt creep through her, Jack noticed her hesitance. "No pressure." He added, enclosing her lips with his own. Reluctantly she withdrew from his kiss. "It's not that I don't want to, god I want this more than anything else in the world," she paused, as his hands slowly curled round her back. Pulling her closer into his embrace. "I just need to know we can stop this, at any time." Jack ran a hand down her spine, sending a tingling sensation to erupt through her body. "Always." He murmured, before capturing her lips in his own once more. Sam felt like an adulterous lover that evening. She had no reason to, neither she not Jack had a significant other. Yet as they made love into the early morning, she felt the pangs of guilt seeping through her. She watched as the sun began to rise slowly behind the curtain, the fire had long since burned out. She shivered, and wrapped the bed sheet tighter round herself. Jack stirred in his sleep, subconsciously pulling her close. She smiled as she drifted off to sleep. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad way to spend a week after all. She closed her eyes and finally fell into a contented sleep. "I'm so scared that the way I feel is written all over my face, when you walk into the room I wanna find a hiding place, we used to laugh we used to smile, we used to hug the way that old friends do." Sam woke, the music filtered through the room from beyond the doorway. She rolled onto her back. The bed was empty next to her. The sheets creased and tossed aside. Slowly she sat up, pulling the covers up to her chest. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. A moment later she heard a clink of china from the other room. “Jack?” she mumbled, her throat dry. “Close your eyes!” came a shout from behind the doorway. Sam frowned, what was he up to? She closed her eyes as the door creaked open. “No peeking!” Jack warned as he entered the room. She felt the bed sink slightly as Jack sat down. She could smell the faint odour of coffee, what was he up to. After what seemed like an eternity she felt Jack curl back into bed next to her. “Ok you can look now.” He whispered into her ear. Slowly Sam opened her eyes. She gasped at the sight in front of her. A breakfast tray sat on the end of the bed, lying at the foot of the bed was the biggest bouquet of flowers she had ever seen. Roses of almost every colour lay scattered at her feet. Pinks, yellows, reds and whites. Sam blinked, there was no way this was all for her! She turned to look at him. “I don’t know what to say,” “Thank you would be nice.” “Thank you.” She murmured, turning to capture his lips with hers. She slowly pushed Jack back into the bed, she wanted to thank him for this properly. “Sam, trust me much as I want to repeat last night, the breakfast I spent hours slaving over will be ruined.” “Hours?” Sam licked her lips seductively. “Yes, hours, apparently my culinary skills are as amazing as yours!” “Watch it mister!” Jack held up his hands in innocence. “Why don’t you just taste it and see!” “I can think of something else I want to taste,” Sam purred, wrapping her arms round Jack’s neck. Jack winked before pulling himself out of Sam’s cat like grasp. He pulled the breakfast tray up to her lap. Sam explored the delights on offer. Jack had made pancakes, a bowl was piled high with fresh fruit and two glasses of champagne. A pot of coffee sat steaming too. Sam grinned like a child at Christmas. “So are you going to sit staring at it or eat some?” Jack jibed. He passed her a glass of champagne, taking one himself he took a sip, he wrapped an arm over Sam's shoulders. She sighed and snuggled into his warm embrace, the week was beginning to look better already. Sam lay on the bed, thinking back to that first morning with Jack. Every morning since she had woken up with Jack's arms draped around her. Sam turned slightly, watching Jack sleep as the sunlight crept through the curtains. This was their last morning together at the cabin. They had to pack up and leave that afternoon. Sam rolled over, gently pressing her body against Jack's. Jack woke a little while later. "Hey beautiful." He mumbled, rolling over to face her. "I could get used to this." Sam smiled, nuzzling into Jack's shoulders. "Me too." Jack sighed, Sam wasn't sure but she thought she heard a tiny amount of regret in Jack's voice. Sam stared out of the window, watching as the countryside slowly merged with the faceless concrete of the towns and cities, they were slowly making their way home in Jack's jeep. Both reluctant to put an end to their week of relaxation. “Do we have to go back?” “Sam you’re commanding the unit tomorrow, I have to get you back to Colorado Springs on time.” “But, I don’t want to command the unit Jack.” Sam pouted. “Sam. We’ve been through this so many times already. You won’t give up the Stargate programme.” Jack sighed. “I know but I can’t imagine not working alongside you.” “We’ll work something out.” “I still can’t see how. God.” Sam banged her hands on the dashboard in frustration. “Why can’t we just get on with our jobs, and have a relationship. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t joined the Military.” “You don’t mean that.” “I do, all those alternate realities, we were always married.” “Sam we only heard about two!” Jack rolled his eyes, making her laugh. She knew she was being a little over dramatic but still. “Yeah but, we were in love Jack.” “I thought we ARE in love?” Sam blushed, and rested a hand on his knee. Jack took his eyes off the steering wheel and stole a glance. “We are.” He smiled and turned back to the road. The tail lights of the cars in front blended into one another as Sam slowly fell asleep in the passenger seat. Before long they were back in Colorado Springs. Jack pulled up outside Sam’s house. “We’re home.” He gently roused her from her slumber. Sam stretched and winced as a pain shot through her back. Sleeping in the car seat had done her no good at all. Jack walked her to her door, he kissed her and ran his fingers through her hair. “We should do that again soon.” “Which bit the fishing or the sleeping in the same bed?” Sam grinned mischievously. “Well, that’s entirely up to you!” Sam laughed. “Will I see you at the base?” Jack shrugged. “Maybe, I am going to need to talk to the General about reassignment.” “What?” “I want to leave the Military, retire. But I want to stay on the programme. I can’t stay on the team, not as the Commanding Officer. But George thinks with our record we can stay as a team.” Sam’s blue eyes widened. “You, didn’t mention this before.” “I know, I’ve been getting used to the idea of having you commanding me, but after this week I sure know who wears the trousers in this relationship!” Sam pouted, “God Jack, relationship? It’s really going to happen?!” “You betcha!” “Shit.” Sam muttered, as tears welled in her eyes. She hastily brushed them out of her eyes. “The thought of a relationship that bad huh?” Jack joked, pulling her into a hug. “Sleep well, and look after the guys tomorrow!” “I will.” “I love you Samantha.” “Love you too.” Sam kissed him and slowly stepped inside her darkened house. She flicked the lights on and closed her front door. She stepped over a ridiculously large pile of mail and kicked off her shoes. The long baggy trousers she wore rustled on the floor as she made her way into her kitchen, she grinned. She was still wearing Jack’s clothes. A long cotton shirt and a fleece. She pulled the neck of the fleece up to her face. It still smelt of him. She smiled. Her answer machine was flashing. Sam hit the play button and began making some coffee. “Uh, Hi, Sam it’s me. Just checking how you are. Hope you’re ok. We miss you. I hear you’re coming back in a week so, get well. I guess I’ll see you in a week then. Take care.” Sam smiled as the answer machine beeped, finding the next message. Daniel bless him. She would call him later. “Hey Honey. I just called to, see if you were going to come over and see me soon?” Sam laughed out loud, ‘checking up on me Janet?’, “Ok, so yes, I want to check you’re ok but that’s cause I’m your best friend. Not just your Doctor. You’d better be taking it easy or there’ll be trouble. Give me a call when you get this message. Cass says hi and she needs your help on her physics project!” Sam laughed and picked up the phone. She jabbed the redial button and waited as the phone at the other end rang. “Hello Fraiser residence.” “Hey Squirt!” “SAM!” Cassandra yelled. “Hi!” Sam laughed. “Is your Mom there?” “Yeah, but she’s in the bath.” “Oh right, you still want help with your physics project?” “Oh, yes please.” “Will your Mom mind if I come over?” “Nah,” Cass laughed “She probably heard me,” Sam laughed in unison with the girl. “That’s true.” “Hey!” Cass protested. “How about I come over in about an hour or so?” “Aww, make it half an hour please.” The girl begged. Sam grinned. “Yeah alright, just go warn your Mom!” “Okay will do! See you soon!” “Bye squirt!” Sam hung up the phone, she switched the kettle off. Coffee could wait. Sam picked up the stack of mail that she’d left on the mat and began sifting through it. Apart from a letter from her brother it was mostly bills and flyers. She dropped the junk back onto the mat, she'd clear it up later. Then something caught in the flap of the letter box caught her eye. Sam tugged it out. Her heart leapt into her throat. She didn't need to turn it over to see her name scrawled on the other side in Jack's handwriting. She recognised it instantly as the note from Jack's bag. He must have pushed it through the door before he left. Hands trembling she carefully unfolded it. “Sam, I love you, Everything I do, I do it for you. Jack.” Sam ran a finger along the crease in the note. Her mind was suddenly filled with questions. How long had he carried this note? And more importantly, why had he given it to her now? They'd spent a week walking in the mountains, sitting beside the lake, sleeping together, having romantic meals. Why did he send her the note? Suddenly feeling like she needed to discuss this with someone other than her own mind she grabbed her keys and decided to go over to Janet's. She was sure Cassandra wouldn’t mind her being early. Sam was greeted with a huge hug from Cassandra, and her dog, Joey bouncing round at her heels. “Mom’s still in the bathroom, but she said she’ll be down soon.” Cassandra rolled her eyes, pulling the door open and allowing Sam in. “Well lets get your physics out the way, so your mom and I can talk in peace!” Sam mocked. “Sure, my stuffs in the study.” “Lead the way!” Sam followed Cassandra through to the study at the side of the house. It occurred to Sam that she hadn’t even known Janet had a study until now. It was lined with books, mostly medical publications and biology books. Sam smiled. It was like her own study, only hers was filled with almost every theoretical astrophysics publication known in America. “So cosmology huh?” Sam asked, flicking through Cassandra’s paper on the big bang theory. “Yeah but this is so lame. I mean, knowing what’s really going on in the universe.” “Tell me about it, I have to pretend I study deep space radar telemetry remember! But if its what you’ve been told to write about, you should stick to the assignment.” Cassandra grinned. “I know." "Come on then what do you need to know?" Sam pulled a chair up to the desk and sat down. "So I need to mention the singularity at the beginning and explain the nucleosynthesis in more detail?” “Yeah, that’s about it! Looks like we might have another theoretical astrophysist in the makings!” Sam grinned, as Cassandra scribbled notes down furiously in her notebook. Sam was unaware that for the last ten minutes Janet had been stood in the doorway to the study, watching as Sam helped Cassie through the paper. Cassie grinned, “Thanks Sam, I understand it now!” “I knew there was a reason you were my best friend!” Janet teased from the doorway. Sam looked round. “Not just a pretty face!” Sam joked, getting up and hugging Janet. “I’ll just go finish this in my room, when I’m done can I go out? I said I’d meet up with Dominic and some friends tonight.” Janet nodded, “Sure thing, but don’t be too late back, it’s a school night.” “Yes Mom, night Sam, and thanks!” “Night.” Sam followed Janet through to her lounge. Janet’s hair was still damp and she was wrapped in a gown over her fleecy pyjamas. “Thanks for that. You know what I’m like with Physics.” “That’s ok. She’s smarter than she looks. She knew the answer, I guess she just wanted my opinion on her project.” “Which was?” “She’s got a grade A essay there. I didn’t tell her that though, if she works on it tonight she’ll get an A+.” Janet laughed. “You’re such a slave driver Sam!” Sam grinned, recalling her encounter with the future Cassandra, “Well, she turns out to be a pretty smart woman!” “So, where have you been all week? I was about to announce you MIA!” “Janet you know I’ve had a week off!” “Sam in all the years I have known you, you’ve never taken a day off, let alone a whole week!” “It wasn’t intentional, I didn’t have much choice in the matter!” Janet frowned, “How come?” Sam laughed at the memory and began to recount the story. By the end of the tale the two women had cried with laughter, now they sat in silence. “Sam, these things have consequences.” “I know. But Jack is so, determined to leave. I know I’m letting him do it for my own personal reasons, but for once I just want to have someone in my life.” Sam paused, fingering the note in her pocket. "and he left me this." Sam pulled the note from her pocket and held it in her hands. Janet looked at her quizzically. Sam finally handed the note over to her. Janet read the note, "How long has he had this?" Sam shrugged "I don't know. I don't even understand why he's given it to me now." “You should talk to him.” “I will, tomorrow at the base.” Sam lied, knowing full well that as soon as she was able to escape Janet's she would drive over to Jack's place. Jack paced his kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil. He needed more than coffee to calm his nerves. He wondered if she would wait until the morning to speak to him about the note. Had she even found it. Maybe she had left her mail on the mat, sorting it in the morning. Jack scolded himself. He knew that Sam wouldn't have done that. In her house everything had its place. He smiled, he loved her house. She had kept most of her fathers belongings after he had moved out. Simply filling it with her own. The sound of a car pulling up startled Jack. He moved through the house to peer out onto the darkened street from his front window, his car sat alone on the road. He sighed. He had hoped to see her silver Volvo parked on the road behind his. Perhaps she had read the note, perhaps she hadn't. He had a feeling she had seen it in his bag back at the cabin, but even if she had, why hadn't she come round? Jack wandered back to the kitchen. The kettle finally clicked indicating the water had boiled. As he reached over to pour himself a coffee the doorbell rang. He jumped so suddenly he sent a cascade of searing hot water across the counter and his hand. "Shit!" He grabbed a tea towel, ignoring the pain seeping into his hand he made his way to the door. He pulled the door open to find Sam stood on his doorstep. She smiled nervously. "Hi." "Hi." Jack mumbled, ignoring the stinging of his hand. "Can I come in?" Jack moved back and let Sam in. She paused, looking at his hand. "What have you done?" "Oh its nothing," Jack replied, pushing the door shut and turning to face her. "I just scalded myself with a bit of water." "Let me be the judge of that." Sam scolded, gently peeling back the tea towel. "Jack this needs a proper dressing." "Since when did you become a Doctor?" "I am a Doctor." "Of physics!" "Well, being friends with Janet has rubbed off on me, where's your first aid kit?" "Under the sink." Sam led Jack into the kitchen and pulled out a stool. She motioned for him to sit before retrieving the first aid kit. She pulled a stool up in front of Jack and examined his hand. She ripped open a antiseptic wipe with her teeth and one hand. Jack tried not to grin, she looked so sexy doing that. She began cleaning Jack's wound. "Ow, damn it Carter that stings!" "Don't be a wimp, and don't call me Carter." she muttered, jabbing his burn a little harder with the wipe. Jack grimaced and watched as she applied a clean dressing and taped it to his hand. Sam smiled, smoothing down the dressing. "All done." "Thank god!" Jack got up, and grabbed a cloth to clear up the pool of water still on the counter top. "Jack, can't that wait? We need to talk." "What about?" Jack looked at her, he knew what but he wasn't going to admit it. "Did you speak to General Hammond?" Sam bottled out, deliberately avoiding the subject of the note. Jack nodded. He put the kettle back on and began making a new cup of coffee. He turned to face Sam, wrapping his arms around her. "He knows, why I'm leaving. He won't let me be reassigned as a civilian. He's offered me retirement. That's all I can do." "Give up? Wouldn't you rather stay on the team than retire? I don't want you giving up your work because of me," Jack silenced Sam, raising a finger to her lips. "Sam its no longer something I have a say in. It's a choiceless decision. George knows about us, I either retire or I risk the rest of your career." "Oh god, Jack I'm so sorry." "Don't be. It's not a bad thing. I've got what I wanted, I have the one thing that matters most to me in the whole world." Sam felt a lump rise in her throat, it was all she could do from breaking down into tears. Jack sensed her emotions and pulled her into his body. "We can have a future, together Sam. No more running and hiding, no looking over our shoulders constantly. No worrying about consequences or repercussions.” Sam raised her head, looking into the deep chocolate brown eyes of the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with.
Fancy reading some more stories from Meesh |