Trying The Impossible
By Edna Phillips
Summary: Someone becomes accident prone, but
why?
Category: Humor
Season: Any up to season 5
Rating: AP
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters
belong to MGM/UA, Showtime/Viacom, SCI-FI Channel, Gekko, Double Secret
Productions etc. and all the powers that be, not me. No copyright infringement
intended. This story is written for fan entertainment only and no money has
exchanged hands. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted
anywhere without the authors consent.
Author’s note: Written as a word challenge for
‘Funny Bone’
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“What on earth is he up too?” Daniel asked Major Carter when he looked
through the window overlooking the Gate Room and saw Colonel O’Neill jumping up
and down on the stargate ramp as Teal’c stood watching him.
“I’ve absolutely no idea,” she answered as he
stopped jumping and begun waving his arms around instead.
“He’s been carrying on like that for half an
hour,” she added shaking her head.
“Why don’t you go down and see what he’s up
too? Ask him,” Daniel told her
grinning.
“Are you joking?” she muttered. “Ask him?
When he’s got ‘that’ look on
his face.”
“What look?”
Daniel asked his nose as near to the glass as possible.
“You know what look,” she answered. “That look that says, ‘don’t ask.’ Not if you want
a sensible answer that is.”
“Now what’s he doing?” he asked as Colonel
O’Neill began pulling faces.
“I’m not sure which is worst,” Major Carter
moaned. “His waving his arms around as
if directing traffic, or pulling faces.
What on earth are they talking
about?”
“You could always ask Teal’c when he comes
out of there,” Daniel offered.
“I could, but I’m not going too,” she
answered walking away.
“Why not?”
Daniel asked looking back into the Gate Room.
“Because,” she answered. “Because Teal’c looks as mystified as we
are.”
“How can you tell?” Daniel asked, peering at their two team mates.
“By his expression,” she answered dropping
her empty coffee cup into a bin.
“What expression?” Daniel asked. “Teal’c
doesn’t have any expressions. Well
maybe one. The inscrutable one, where
his face just sort of stands there doing nothing.”
“For your information he has two
expressions,” Major Carter told him as she headed for the door. “Two when it comes to Colonel O’Neill that
is. One says ‘This human is totally insane’ and the other says ‘If I ignore him he may go away. At the moment he’s wearing his ‘If I ignore him he may go away,’ face.”
“Do I have an expression just for Jack?” Daniel asked in amusement.
“Oh yes,” she answered. “Yours is a ‘What did I do to deserve this,’ expression.”
Briefing Room – 1 hour later
“That means you’ve two days rest until your
next mission,” General Hammond told SG1 as they sat around the briefing room
table. “Um Colonel,” he added watching
him as he rubbed his shoulder. “I
couldn’t help noticing you keep rubbing your shoulder. Anything wrong?” he asked.
“I think I’ve strained it,” Colonel O’Neill
answered rubbing his shoulder again.
“Hurts like crazy.”
“When did you do that?” General Hammond asked as the others looked
towards O’Neill. “I thought Doctor
Fraiser passed you fit for your next mission.”
“She did,” he answered. “It’s nothing serious. Just a strain. It happened earlier when I was explaining something to Teal’c. Got a little over enthusiastic that’s all.”
“Well get yourself down to the infirmary,”
General Hammond told him sternly. “I
want you fit for your next mission.
Until then you’re dismissed.”
“Yes Sir,” Colonel O’Neill answered getting
to his feet as the General got up.
“What?” he asked Major Carter and Daniel as
they stood looking at him after General Hammond had left the room.
“Nothing,” they answered together.
“They’re hard work sometimes,” he told Teal’c
as they walked out of the room.
Later
“What’s wrong with your eye?” Major Carter asked O’Neill as he walked
towards her holding a tissue over his right eye.
“Got something in it,” he replied. “Just off to the infirmary, again,” he muttered giving a backwards
glance at Teal’c who came around the corner.
“Be careful you don’t rub your eye and
scratch the eyeball,” Major Carter offered with concern.
“Thanks for the advice Major,” he answered as
he walked on, “but I doubt there’s much chance of what went into my eye scratching anything.”
“Why is that?” she asked her curiosity
getting the better of her, even though she could see he wasn’t in the mood for
talking.
“Never mind,” his answered as he disappeared
into the infirmary.
“Why won’t it scratch his eyeball?” she asked
Teal’c as he walked past.
“I do not think custard scratches,” he
answered as he too went into the infirmary.
“Custard?”
Daniel asked when she told him. “You’re
sure he said custard?”
“Positive,” she answered.
“Well I know Jack can sometimes be an
enthusiastic eater,” Daniel told her, pulling a face as they walked towards the
elevator. “Especially when he’s eating
oatmeal. Remember when we got stuck in
that time loop. He made me feel sick
stuffing oatmeal into his mouth as though he hadn’t eaten for days. Haven’t been able to face it since.”
“He hadn’t eaten,” Major Carter answered in
O’Neill’s defence. “Well only fruit
loops.”
“But custard. I didn’t know he was that keen on it,” Daniel told her as he
pressed the elevator button.
“Well that’s what Teal’c said,” she
repeated. “His exact words were. I do not think custard scratches. You know Teal’c; he uses as few words as
possible.”
“Did you get around to asking him why Jack
was jumping up and down in the Gate Room earlier?” Daniel asked raising his eyebrows as the elevator doors opened.
“Not me,” she answered. “I think I’d rather not know.”
The Infirmary – the following day