Spacemonkey’s
Reunion
By UndyingWisdom*Snake-Head
Email Author: kateiscool89@hotmail.com
Summary: Danny has a 10 year reunion, Jack gets drunk, Sam gets
an admirer, Teal’c is, well, Teal’c.
Category: Humor
Season: Any
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own not Stargate SG-1 or The Simpsons
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“Hey Jack, Jack!” The older man turned to face his friend.
“What’s up Daniel?”
“Wanna come to my 10 year High School
Reunion with me? Teal’c and Sam can
come too.”
“Don’t tell me that your 30 already! And anyway Danny, High School’s aren’t
really my scene.”
“27, not 30. Oh come on Jack, 3 years ago you’d jump at
the chance to get off the base with your friends.”
“Yeah, but that was before I knew pigs could
fly.”
“They weren’t really pigs Jack.”
“Close enough. They had funny noses and curly tails.”
“And trunks Jack. They had elephant trunks!”
“Minor details…”
“Come on Jack. Do me a favour. Look!”
exclaimed Daniel, as the other two members of SG-1 rounded the corner, “I’ll
ask the others now!”
He ran up to them and put on his biggest
most charming-est smile.
“Hey Sam, Teal’c. Wanna come with me to my 10 year High School Reunion?”
“Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun!” answered Sam.
Please Teal’c, please say that you’re busy
Kel’nor’eem-ing or something.
“Indeed I would be honoured Daniel Jackson.”
Crap.
“Great!” Daniel turned to O’Neill. “Now will you come?” He put on his puppy-dog eyes. “Please?”
“Oh, alright. And just for the record, that face does not work on me
OK?”
“OK Jack, whatever you say.”
********************************************************
“Hey
Guys! GUYS! Wake up! We’re here!”
Carter, Daniel and Teal’c all jerked
violently awake.
“Wha-.
Huh?” Sam muttered in confusion.
“We-Are-At-Daniel’s-High-School-Got-It?”
“Yes Sir,” she replied, sounding bored.
“YAY!!!”
“Daniel!
Mate! You need coffee!”
“It is too early in the evening for the
gathering to have begun O’Neill. Why do
we not, er, ‘grab a coffee’?”
“Yeah, good idea Teal’c.”
He turned in at the next café.
********************************************************
“All out!
ALL OUT! How can they be ALL OUT
of COFFEE!!!?”
“Daniel!
Calm down! We’ve all eaten so
we’ll go to the reunion now. They’re
sure to have coffee. OK?” Sam attempted to soothe her friend.
“Yes.
Let’s do that,” Said O’Neill.
The team gathered outside and got in the
car. Jack climbed in the front and
waited for instructions to the small High School. They were there in no time at all.
“Names please,” said a woman at the front
door to the gymnasium, who Jack thought strongly resembled in every way Lunch
Lady Doris from The Simpsons.
“Uh,” Daniel stood frozen, a look of sheer
terror in his eyes.
“Oh for Christ’s sake,” sighed O’Neill,
“He’s Daniel Jackson, with friends Jack O’Neill, Samantha Carter and
Tee-er-Murray Teal’c.” He gave a
sheepish smile to the Jaffa soldier.
As soon as they were inside Daniel exhaled
all the oxygen he had held for the past 57 seconds.
“Who was that Daniel? Because obviously you were scared of her.”
“That?
That was the Principal, who despised me intensely.”
“Which would explain her evil stare as you
walked past, right?” asked O’Neill.
“Uh, no, that would be because she was also
the P.E teacher.” The others stared
blankly.
“Don’t ask!” laughed Daniel.
********************************************************
Two hours later, when they were all tipsy,
including Teal’c, and had scattered for the majority of the night, united with
their newfound, and old-found (?!?) friends.
O’Neill, who was slightly more than tipsy,
sauntered up, that’s right sauntered up, with three lovely cheerleaders
hanging off his arm. Teal’c joined him,
also with ladies all over him, but Teal’c seemed not to notice them, in fact he
looked a bit annoyed. Sam came up to
them, still laughing with a couple of guys she met. Later, they found out, one of them was gay and the other hated
the gay one but was only playing along for Sam’s sake. Finally Daniel came over joined by what had
to be old, good friends, judging by the air of accomplishment about them, and
also the fact that one of them wore glasses, and the other sounded incredibly
like Professor Frink off The Simpsons.
“Hhg, so Daniel. You know all about us, again.
What have you been doing these past years?” asked Damien, the one with
the glasses, after introductions were made.
Although these introductions excluded the three cheerleaders and six,
no, seven girls dripping off Teal’c.
“Yeah Daniel. You said you needed these guys here,” the Frink guy, Spencer,
gestured towards SG-1, “to tell what you did.
Talk!”
“Well,” started Daniel, “These guys are
colleagues of mine at the air-force. I
work as a linguist and archaeologist there.”
“Never would have put you in the air-force
Danny,” said Spencer.
“Yeah, like, why would they need an
archaeologist in the air-force?” inquired Kane, the one after Sam.
“Well, there are all sorts of parts in the
air-force. We all work as a kind of
team sometimes to go to different, er, countries. We each specialise in something different.”
“Like a re-con team,” stated the gay guy,
Will, then, seeing his friends’ blank faces as to how he knew this he said,
“I’ve dated a few army dudes.”
“Oh.
Well, what do you do there Samantha?” asked Kane.
“I’m a Major but I also work as a
theoretical astrophysist,” then, when also greeted by blank expressions, she
added, “I basically study what could, happen in the universe.”
“Wow.
That’s so cool!” said Will, his voice full of admiration, “What about
Tall-dark-and-handsome over here?”
Teal’c looked up.
“I am-” he was interrupted by the giggling
of his posse, apparently they liked his deep voice. “I am the foreign liaison officer. I have travelled to many of the places we visit and was born into
one such tribe.”
“Ooh!”
The giggling started up again.
“Nice save Teal’c,” muttered Sam.
“I,” said O’Neill, before anyone could ask,
“Am Colonel of our team.”
The others stared at him bleakly.
“And…
I hold command over these three.”
“Oh!” said everyone.
“Yeah!” said O’Neill, getting into the swing
of things, “Sam here is my Second In Command.
We’re the only air-force personnel, Teal’c and Danny-boy are civilians
working for us.”
“Now,” said the Colonel, “I’m going to grab
a cab to that hotel we saw on the way here and, er, take an early night.”
“Yeah, sure Jack,” Daniel smirked.
“See ya Sir!”
O’Neill swung around.
“SAM!
DON’T call me Sir or Colonel or ANYthing like that while we’re on
downtime! Now, I’m leaving. Ladies?” he turned to the cheerleaders.
As O’Neill brushed past Daniel he heard him
say, “Do you even know their names?”
“No,” he whispered back.
Sam yelled out when she saw him reach the
door, “It’s not downtime, SIR!”
Jack paused but moved on without turning
around.
Kane bent down and whispered something in
Sam’s ear, which she then reacted to by slapping him. Daniel burst out laughing as the man stalked off.
“What did he say?”
“Come here,” Daniel lent in closer to Sam,
“He said ‘You can call me Colonel anytime!’”
The man cracked up again, and so did Will,
because they made no effort to stop him hearing.
Will exclaimed, “That’s gotta be one of the
worst pick-up lines I’ve ever heard!”
“Well, he always was the jock,” said Daniel.
“Daniel Jackson, what is this ‘jock’ term of
which you speak? Is it to do with the
‘jock strap’?”
Sam laughed.
“Yeah Murray. Something like that,” Daniel laughed.
“Aah.
Well Daniel, I think it’s probably time we should make our exit,” sighed
Sam.
“Yeah.
Guys, it’s been great, stay in contact.
We got work REAL early tomorrow.”
“How early?
Just curious,” said Spencer.
“Ah, about, er, 03:00 hours.”
“Huh?” asked Damien.
“Er, three am,” explained Sam.
“Oh!
Well, we’ll let you off this once,” said Damien.
“It’s been a pleasure Samantha,” said Will,
turning to the woman and taking her hand he kissed it lightly, before moving
away.
Sam giggled and said her farewells to the
three men.
“I too shall go. I have to meditate.
Excuse me ladies,” said Teal’c, not knowing that the last part sounds
sexy in his monotone, even if only to the girls on his arm. He brushed them off lightly, also said his
good-byes and went to wait outside.
“OK.
I’ll call you sometime Damien.
And I’ll visit you and your wife one day too, Spence. Bye!”
“Bye guys,” said Sam.
“Yeah.
Bye! Sayonara! Adios!
Farewell!” called Spencer.
“See-ya!” laughed Spencer.
Sam and Daniel left and walked down to the
hotel with Teal’c.
“Well, that wasn’t too bad hey Daniel?”
“No Sam, it was not.”
“I enjoyed myself.” Said Teal’c.
“So how we gonna wake the Colonel up
tomorrow?”
“I’m thinking pour the ice water from the
champagne bucket over his head,” replied Sam.
“I believe we should tip him into the pool.”
Sam and Daniel stared at Teal’c in shock for
a moment before cracking up laughing.
The three walked off as silhouettes, devising evil schemes for the next
morning.
~~~
End ~~~